System Reset: A Call from Covid
Begin again.
Fear is creeping in,
that's interesting
that's new.
A gripping on the lower back side
of my heart,
squeezing.
Breathe.
Begin again.
Breathe - the One Breath,
we are all breathing it!
It could kill us
or
It could heal us.
CHOOSE.
Pull in more oxygen than you exhale.
Again.
AGAIN.
Again! Faster, deeper!
Now, hold it!....................................(for how long?)
Never mind that. Just relax.
Be present to what is:
Fear.
......but also.......relaxation, spaciousness.
Ego drops away
becomes the servant,
no longer the master.
Collective Honesty,
for the first time in millennia:
EVOLVE OR DIE.
Floating down the stream toward the Source
being carried,
Letting Go.
A slight kick here,
A slight paddle there.
Pay attention,
don't let your head hit a rock!
That is your only job:
PAY ATTENTION.
Soon, others join,
carried in by their unique tributaries.
Link arms.
Smile at each other.
Drift.
We are picking up speed now,
a collective surrender.
The River knows where she is going-
do YOU?
Don't let questions like that trick you into
Self Doubt.
The way we ride the River
is the same way
we will embrace the Ocean.
Shall it be in fear
or in Trust?
Fear is not working.
Evolve or die.
(By Chelsea Forbrook, April 5, 2020. Thanks to my friend Ben for the writing prompt.)
Happy Valentine’s, Dude
It’s Valentine’s Day, and as a “single” person, this could be a prime opportunity to launch into a full blown pity party or fits jealousy (both are states I’m quite familiar with), but this year, I’m choosing to reflect on something entirely different. No, I’m not going to talk about “Galentine’s Day” and the power of female connection. No, I’m not going to extrapolate upon Emma Watson’s brilliant new term of being “self-partnered” which removes the stigma of being single. Both subjects are extremely important, and well worth reflecting upon. However, this year, I’ve been noticing a type of love that hardly ever gets talked about: friendships across sex and gender.
When I was in college, I remember Pastor Trachte, our campus minister who was nearing retirement, sharing his reverence for this new phenomenon.
“When I was your age,” he said, “I wasn’t able to be friends with women. It just didn’t happen back then. Women were for dating, and that’s it. Men only hung out with other men. I wish I could have what this younger generation has, because you’re able to learn from each other across gender, learn to support each other in non-sexual ways. Young men learn to express their emotions these days because they have female friends who allow them to do so.”
Wow.
I can’t imagine a life without having male friends. I’ve always had really good guy friends in my life. Without them, I wouldn’t be me. Starting with my amazing brother, to the dudes in my high school garage band, to my posse of amazing male friends in college, to the current crew of men who surround me, they have all brought me endless laughs, support, inspiration, respect, protection, love, shoulders to cry on, listening ears, guidance, consistency, and trust.
Most of all, the men in my life have brought me a sense of deep, unshakable HOPE. As a woman who has been sexually harassed by strange men hundreds of times, betrayed by several lovers, and discriminated against due to my gender, I need my male friends to restore my faith in humanity. Or MANity, as it were. (Manatee?? Oh geez. Focus, Chelsea). Without them, I would be left with only rage and fear toward the opposite sex. I wouldn’t date. I wouldn’t leave the house. I would be paralyzed in fear. They help me remember that there are good, beautiful, and KIND men in this world. Probably more good ones than I can ever imagine.
So here’s to you, all my past, present, and future man-friends!
May you know how much good you bring into the world just by being YOU.
Just by showing up.
Just by listening.
Just by being open to learning from women.
Your presence in women’s lives matters more than you’ll ever know.
You are like family to me.
I respect you, I adore you, I love you, I thank you.
Happy Valentine's Day, Dudes!!!
Sankalpa- A New Kind of Resolution
We all know why New Year’s resolutions are a bummer. We say we’re going to go to the gym every 4 days a week. We will journal every night before going to sleep. Or meditate every morning for 12 months. But how often have any of us actually followed through with these goals? Most of us give up on ourselves after we miss one day or one week. “I failed, so what’s the point of continuing? If I start over now, it doesn’t really count.” All or nothing thinking wins again! We crawl away with our tail between our legs. Maybe we will try again next year. *Sigh*
While hard-line goals can be meaningful and motivating in some ways, most of us just don’t function that way (unless you’re an Enneagram Three!) But even Threes could benefit from approaching the New Year through a different lens, and relaxing their obsession with checklists. For the last several years, I have focused on an intention instead of a goal or definitive resolution. Yes, there is a benefit in non-measurable outcomes.
In the yogic tradition, they talk about setting a “Sankalpa,” or sacred intention. I love this, because it has energy behind it, and yet it releases the white-knuckled grip of control. It’s no longer completely up to me to either succeed or fail, or to even know what is best for me. With a Sacred Intention, there is room to invite in the Source of Love, that Great Mystery animating all of life, to come into my life and dance with me. The Divine Beloved carries my Sankalpa just as much, or more, than I do. This sets me up for “success” and leaves space to go with the flow and find beautiful surprises along the way. It is the subtle shift away from calculated growth and towards unpredictable evolution.
Choosing one word to focus on (or a very short phrase) for a Sankalpa is best. Then it is easy to remember, and can become an anchor you return to throughout your days, weeks, and months ahead. It is fascinating to see how this one word changes meaning over time, when attention is given to it. For the last three years, I have been journeying with the word “Trust.” Each year, it just kept coming back to me, saying “I’m not done with you yet. One more year.”
This last year has been calling me to return again and again to Presence. In a sense, this is the Sankalpa suited for all of us, because it is Presence that unlocks the door to whatever it is we are searching for. All our inherent Virtues, lying dormant behind our fear, anger, and shame, have the possibility of coming alive when we are fully present in body, heart, and mind. If we desire to be more loving to ourselves and others, Presence is the key. If what we want is more courage to be our true selves, Presence will show us the way. If we are tired of distracting and numbing ourselves, Presence brings energy and clear vision to counter our self-forgetting.
So to be Present is my Sacred Intention this year. To come back to the Living Moment again and again, because that’s where true happiness lies. That’s where my deeper heart can wake up from its long hibernation, and where my chattering mind can find a profound Quietness. Presence signals my body to relax, to release unnecessary tension, and open intuitive channels to Inner Guidance.
Ahhh, Beloved Presence! If only I were not such an unfaithful lover! I keep leaving you for the next exciting distraction. I cheat on you with my worries, my obsessive planning, my fantasies, my ruminations. None of these ever brings me the fulfillment I desire. Only you can satisfy my soul! Thankfully, you are patient and forgiving, always waiting for me just under the surface, welcoming me back with a spacious and unlimited embrace. Within you, Dear Presence, I find the true gift of Grace. Thank you. Please keep calling me Home.
Ways to work with your Sankalpa:
To find your Sankalpa, sit still and breathe. Feel your body. Notice your heart opening. Then review your past year, either through writing, looking at a calendar, or skimming a journal. Sit with all of this and ask, “What is it that my soul truly needs? What is my heart’s deepest desire?” Let your Intention come to you instead of forcing it. Trust your intuition and Holy Imagination. Whatever comes to you is the right thing.
Take time to write about your Sacred Intention, giving yourself permission to “fail” and return to it again and again. All you need is 5 mintues. Set a timer, and write from your heart, without an editing mind. Find a ritual way to “seal” the letter. You can take it outside and burn it. You can put it in an envelope addressed to your Higher Power. Place it on your nightstand to read each morning or evening. Get creative!
Write your Sankalpa word or phrase in places you will continuously see it: on your mirror, on your car dashboard, on a card or stone you keep in your pocket
Put it into a work of visual art or a poem.
Create a Vision Board collage filled with pictures that evoke the feelings, activities or associations that are related to your Sankalpa. (Pictures have a way of working their way into our subconscious and going deeper than words)
Use your Sankalpa as a mantra in meditation, or as a focus point in Centering Prayer. This means you sit and breathe, open and receptive, and whenever your mind wanders away from the present moment, you repeat your Sankalpa to yourself in your mind as a touchstone to bring you back to the Here & Now. The key is to not beat yourself up because you got distracted, but instead rejoice that you came back to Presence!
Image credit: www.advancedsciencenews.com
Labyrinth Interrupted
There are times when the natural Wisdom within us arises to meet the moment in ways we never could have orchestrated if we were lost in thought, lost in thinking about right and wrong, "shoulds" and "should-nots." In these moments, our head, heart, and body are aligned. They are in the same place.
Before I'm tempted to wax poetic about something that can't actually be explained, let's just stop and have an illustrative story.
The last time I visited my brother and his family in Washington DC, I took a solo day trip to Georgetown. While there are hundreds of fancy restaurants, boutiques, and art galleries in this gentrified neighborhood, I was attracted to Georgetown's Waterfront Park along the Potomac River because I discovered it had a large public labyrinth.
Now, you must understand that I LOVE labyrinths. I've had so many powerful prayer experiences using this ancient tool, so I immediately hyped up my upcoming labyrinth walk in my mind, hoping (expecting?) that it would be deep and soul shaking. But would I be able to find an intimate experience with my spirit, with The Spirit, in a public park? Would people be staring at me while I slowly walked round and round, wondering if I'm mentally ill? Doesn't matter. Gotta give it a try anyway.
When I arrived at the park on a Tuesday morning, it was fairly quiet. Whew, just what I needed. I stood at the entrance to the labyrinth, took three deep breaths, asked the Spirit to join me, and began my walk. While it was a nice meditation, and I was aware of my movements, of my self consciousness, and of my thoughts, nothing profound was happening. I determined that when I got to the middle, I would sit down and meditate and pray until some insight was gained. (For those who have never walked a labyrinth, it is not a maze, but a winding and unpredictable path that inevitably leads you into the center. This center represents the deepest part of ourself, our Essence, and the path can represent the twists and turns of our life that eventually lead us to God, to Love, to Freedom.)
I arrived at the center and sat down, lotus style, and prepared myself for my message. Waited. Nothing was happening. Or so I thought. What had happened, unnoticed by my ego which had an agenda, was that a spacious clarity had opened up inside of me and was ready to greet whatever reality arrived with an open mind and heart.
Then it came. Or more, accurately they came. 30 little humans, ages one to three, were unleashed by their daycare provider to run amok inside the labyrinth. My first split second reaction was mortification. How could those adults see someone who is obviously meditating and then purposely surround them with the most distracting thing possible: adorable children!? But immediately following that was an inner gentleness toward my anger. "It's ok. This is the message. Be Here Now. Meet the moment with gladness, no matter how it presents itself." When this Wisdom arose in me, I didn't feel I controlled it, conjured it, or had any choice in the matter. It was just time to live this moment with love.
Suddenly the joyous squeals of the children chasing each other was music to my ears. I opened my eyes and the smile radiating from my face was genuine and unstoppable. A few of the tykes waddled up to me and began chatting in indistinguishable toddler language. Some gave me high fives with no words exchanged. My heart felt like it was exploding with love and gratitude. I continued sitting, swirling in a sea of innocence. Eventually, they toddled on in a line after their teacher and I was left alone to marvel at the surprise gift God had in store for me.
Before the kiddos arrived, what I perceived as "nothing" happening was actually the beautiful emptiness of a non-judging mind and heart. I was being prepped to receive a moment of spontaneity, in going with the flow, and finding ease and peace in having my plans interrupted. In the Buddhist tradition, this is known as Buddha knowing Dhamma, expressing Sangha. In other words, this is when that open, non-judging spaciousness inside of us that is always available (Buddha) meets the present moment as it is (Dhamma), and then is able to, from this enlightened space, take right and action (Sangha). When we are fully alive and awake, we see reality (whether it is the pain of the world or the joy of the world) and intuitively know the appropriate response.
We know when we are in this space, and we recognize when others are acting from this space. Some people these days call it being "in the flow." It's that moment when, without effort, we respond wisely to whatever arises, and it feels and looks beautiful. When we know how much to let up, let go, or lean in. When we speak truth to power, when we have the right words to solve conflict with our parents or partner. The key thing to notice about these moments is that they are pure Grace. We don't need to try to do the right thing, and yet the right thing flows naturally from that deep place of Presence. Our Essence already knows how to be wise. We would do well to stop striving toward self improvement, and instead let go and let our natural, innate Wisdom take the reins. Giddyup!
Reflection
When have you noticed a moment of easeful Wisdom in action from yourself?
When have you witnessed this kind action flowing from others?
Are there places or activities that frequently foster this deep Knowing in you?
Share a quick story in the comments below!